Mummy, my brave and beautiful guardian angel

It was May 77 and a hot summer afternoon in New Delhi. After finishing her Yoga session at the Vishwayatan Yogashram directly opposite Bangla Saheb Gurudwara, a poised young lady was walking briskly, keen to reach home at the earliest.

Just as she crossed the road, she heard a girl’s shrill voice, “Chhodo, Chhodo, Mujhe”( let me go)

There was a note of terror in the girl’s voice and as she came closer, the lady could see that a car had stopped on the road . While the driver remained seated, the other man was trying to drag the girl into the car and she was struggling to get out of his clutches. Without further ado, the lady ran towards them shouting, “ Leave her immediately or I will call the police .”

As she recalled it later, everything seemed to move in slow motion. She could clearly see the terror in the girl’s eyes, the anger and determination in the man who was trying to pull her in, the momentary confusion on the driver’s face as he tried to think of the next step. Over and above that, she remembered thinking that these two men were capable of anything in that moment and looking towards Gurudwara Bangla Sahib, she prayed “Madat Kar Mere Rabba”( Help me, God)

And then everything came back in sharp focus as the man threw the girl on the footpath, jumped into the car, the driver took off, and in the next moment, it was all over.

She helped the bruised and terrified girl up and asked her if she was OK. The girl replied that she could manage and all she wanted was to go home. After ensuring that the girl was OK, the lady stopped an auto rickshaw, settled her in and continued her walk back home. Once home, she heaved a sigh of relief, it was over but she was well aware that anything could have happened...

Mummy, newly married at 19

That brave lady was my mother, Biba Satinder Kaur and as I think about her on her third ‘Barsi’ I remember this and a thousand other wonderful things about her.

Mummy at 29, New Years Eve, Calcutta

Mummy’s love for nature, for all things beautiful, her immense love for her family, her deep and abiding belief in God and Sikhism, her steadfast loyalty to her friends, her care and consideration for the staff, of whom Jairam was the longest serving member. He worked for my parents for 39 years , coming in as a young boy and stayed with them till he passed away in 2016.

In the three years since Mummy’s passing, I have been through a roller coaster of emotions. The first year was traumatic and very , very hard. My father took her passing to heart and exactly 9 months later, left us to join her.

Three years after Mummy, I have finally understood that this is the new normal and life has to go on. Her warmth, her infectious laughter and her utter delight in every little achievement of ours is something which I treasure .

Mummy, May 2015

I’m convinced that Mummy is our guardian angel now - just as her mother was for her.

What are best memories really made of?

Today, I spent some time looking at some old photographs. 

Correction,  they were not really 'old 'photographs, but they date back to just about four or five years ago.

And what I saw saddened me a great deal. Because many of the people, including both my parents, in those photographs were no more. In particular, those who were in their seventies then (I counted at least six of them) weren't alive any more.

My late parents, Sardar Harnam Singh and Sardarni Satinder Kaur Serna

I spent some time thinking about it, then realised that there was really nothing that anyone could have done about it. All of them had died of old age or incurable illnesses and despite the best possible medication and hospitalisation, they eventually passed away.

The ultimate reality- no one lives for ever. Its their memories that will linger, like the fragrance of a beautiful and proud flower that once bloomed but eventually fades away..

Best memories are made of this

As the old adage goes, 'time and tide really wait for no one' . All we can do is to keep the happiest memories of  those who are now gone, close to our hearts and every now and then take a break, pause  and reflect on the best they had to offer us.

So one of the best things one can do is to look at a flower, a garden, a sunset and think of them. The associated pain may be more bitter, than sweet, but there is really no answer. One just has to live with and deal with it. 

Will time ever really heal that pain? 

That too is something that no one can really tell...maybe yes, maybe never..

But best memories are truly made of images and thoughts like these and by associating the things we love with all the things they loved, we are definitely doing the right thing.

That of keeping them alive ...forever...

Thoughts on Friends

Like many of us I love the thought of having friends-Truly something warm and comforting.

And have thanked God and my good fortune for the many good friends I've had as I've gone along life's journey.

The fact of the matter is that we can only really grow and flourish when we have the love and support of our friends who truly care. Care enough to tell us straight up when we happen to be going off track.

Or if we have really done so, helping us get back there.

Again and again.

Then again, if need be...

Friends Forever

So pause for a moment and reflect-How many real friends do you think you can actually count?

Even more importantly- How many people are you a real friend to?