The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence

According to the Urban dictionary, the phrase 'the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence', refers to the way we tend to look at other people’s lives and things that we don't have in general, through rose coloured glasses.

In literal terms, this comes straight from the idea of looking at a neighbour's lawn and seeing it as better looking, healthier and overall greener then your own when in reality you’re just ignoring anything negative about it and downplaying everything positive about yourself.

Hmm, could it be greener perhaps?

Here's a classic instance which really puts it in perspective.

Friend1- 'You’re so lucky, you went to a great college, have money and you’re so smart and will probably accomplish more by the time you’re 30 then I will in my entire life.' 

Friend 2- 'Are you serious? I’ve always envied you. People expect so much out of me. I’ve never been able to have a life because of studying and other schoolwork. If I get less then an A, people freak out like I got an F. I may accomplish that much, but with all the pressure on me I’ll probably be insane by the time I’m 35. In so many ways, I wish I could just be a regular guy with normal expectations and a normal life.' 

Friend 1- 'Wow, I honestly never looked at it that way. I guess it's true that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence!"

Looking at it from a very personal perspective, I always wanted to wear spectacles when I was a girl in middle school. In particular, the large, square, black framed ones which I had seen someone wearing in a movie- Quite possibly, Ali Mac Graw, the heroine of Love Story or someone very like her. I begged and pleaded with my parents for a pair and one day they finally caved in. I guess i must have been so painful that they actually took me to an opthomologist's clinic and asked if I could get a pair of those spectacles with zero power.

The man was clearly puzzled and asked me why on earth did I want to wear spectacles when I didn't need them? 

'Because they look very smart', I answered in a flash.

'Beta, don't you know that even if you were to wear a pair of spectacles with zero power, they will slowly, but surely lead you to a pair with real power. So its much better that you learn to live without them and believe me when you are older, you will thank me for this piece of advice.'

I hated listening to him but eventually I did. 

Many decades later ,I (mentally) thank him every now and then. 

Sometimes I wonder was  it really because of him?

As it happens, till date, I am not using even a pair of reading glasses...

Then there was a time I wanted long, straight  hair. Simply because my favourite Hindi film  actress Simmi Garewal had hair like that. Now that wasn't so difficult to achieve as I was naturally blessed with long, straight wavy hair and with a little bit of professional help, Ive managed that. 

Does that give me happiness? A definite yes!

Then again, many of my friends with long, straight hair have told me time and again, how they long for curly/wavy hair. Over the course of years, many of them have done exactly that and are happy with their choices.

The same can be said for one's height, weight, colour of eyes, colour of skin...the list is an endless one and its really difficult to draw the line. After all, where does all this end? Exactly where it started or does the goal post change somewhere along the way?

Questions, questions, questions, with few if any real answers.

And so I come back to where I started- "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."